A New Week

So, it's either early Monday morning, or late Sunday night, however you want to look at it. It's the start of a new week. And, just in case you are wondering what's new.....the answer is....nothing. Still waiting. and waiting. and waiting. and waiting. *sigh*


.........................................and waiting..................................waiting...............waiting.............

I think writing this blog killed about 2 minutes......................................

Vietnam Etiquette

Here's a little education on Vietnamese Etiquette for travelling within the country. Thanks to www.asiarooms.com.

Vietnam is one of the oldest Southeast Asian countries. Vietnam’s prolonged fight for freedom has instilled a strong sense of self respect in its people. In fact the Vietnamese are extremely simple and down to earth people who know how to respect other individuals and expect the same from them. Vietnam is a country, rich in culture and traditions and is very particular about their codes of social interaction. Needless to say that Vietnamese etiquette is actually a reflection of the culture of Vietnam and the lifestyle of the Vietnamese as a whole.

Vietnamese Social Etiquettes:

- They avoid loud conversations and using too many gestures as it is considered very rude.

- Pointing fingers or calling anyone with fingers pointed upward is impolite.

- Rather you should use your entire hand with fingers placed downwards.

- The Vietnamese are not too fond of any kind of physical contact in public, especially with the opposite sex.

- They bow down to show respect specially to an elderly person

- They generally do not shake hands with an older person. The young generally shake both hands, if at all they do.

- Only the elderly touches a child’s head.

- They use both their hands when passing on any object.

- According to Vietnamese etiquette standing with arms on the hips is considered ill-mannered.

- Crossing ones arms on the chest is also a very rude gesture.

Social Visits and Gifts in Vietnam

- If you plan to visit a Vietnamese family then it is considered polite if you bring a gift for the host especially the woman in the family.

- Packing the gift items in colorful paper is appreciated.

- Ideal gift items include sweets, flowers, fruits, incense or items for daily use.

- Never present handkerchiefs or anything black as a gift, because it is considered ominous.

Vietnamese Table Etiquette

- You should wait until you are showed your seat at the table.

- The elderly usually sit before the others.

- The Vietnamese use chopsticks and rice bowls as their eating utensils.

- The Chopsticks must be kept on the table or a chopstick rest after taking a few mouthfuls and at the end of the meal.

- The rice bowls should be held up closer to the mouth otherwise it is considered idleness.

- Vietnamese etiquette demands that spoons should be held with the left hand while eating soup.

- It is polite to finish every food item on the platter.

- Toothpicks should be used with the mouth covered.

Business Etiquettes in Vietnam

- The Vietnamese are extremely punctual for business meetings and look for the same from others.

- They appreciate formal dressing in official programs.

- They shake hands at the beginning and end of meetings, but it is not done among the opposite sex.

- They exchange business cards on the very first encounter.

- The entire dealing should be done very politely, without any sort of hostility because the Vietnamese are peace loving and look down upon any kind of temper flares.

There is surely a long list of Vietnamese etiquette, and codes of conduct, but all are meant to uphold the peace and harmony of the society. Being very simple themselves the Vietnamese expect the same love and affection from their visitors.

I know a lot of people would like to know more about Vietnam Adoptions....all the nitty-gritty whys and hows of the process. I found this wealth of information I thought I would share here with you all.


Why Choose Vietnam?

The Vietnamese are a people who honor family and, especially, children tremendously. Orphans in Vietnam are often placed for adoption due to a family's inability to care for a child due to poverty, death of a parent or special medical needs. The Vietnamese culture also frowns on single motherhood so many infants are placed in orphanages by single mothers. Orphanages are kept extremely clean and the infant-to-nanny ratio is very low. Nannie are always seen with at least one infant in-arms and nannies are typically quiet emotinoaly when it comes time to say goodbye to their charges. Vietnamese babies have a very low incidence of attachment issues. Oftentimes birth mothers continue to visit their children in the orphanages until they are adopted and occasionally foster parents are used to care for children.

Who Can Adopt In Vietnam:

Single parents may adopt.
Married couples may adopt.
Couples with children in the home may adopt.
The minimum age to adopt in Vietnam is 20 years older than the age of the child and there is no maximum set by Vietnam for infant adoptions.
Many U.S. adoption agencies, however, set their own minimum and maximum parental age but this will vary considerably so shop around if this is an issue.
Parents earning at or above 125% of poverty level for their desired family size.
Parents of sound physical and mental health may adopt.

The Adoption Process:

The adoption process for Vietnam is like many international countries. It is a three part process: state-level approval, country-level approval and Vietnam approval.

Obtain an approved home study. This is done on the state level and the requirements for your home study will vary from state to state. A home study assesses a family's ability to handle the physical, financial and emotional aspects of growing a family through adoption. The home study can cost between several hundred and several thousand dollars and can take from a few weeks to several months to complete. The Vietnam requirements for the home study just usually defer to the state requirements and your chosen adoption agency will give more detailed information on the home study format they require for your dossier (Part 3). You will need an approved home study for both Part 2 (national level) and Part 3 (Vietnam level) approval can be obtained.

Once you pass the home study (or in many states, before you even pass) you will want to immediately start processing your I-600a form with the US CIS. This is the federal level approval for adoption. The US CIS requires a fingerprinting of all adults in the home ($70/person) as well as an approved home study, a fee ($525) and a photocopy of all vital records for you and your spouse, if applicable. Because this is usually the longest step in the adoption process, many states allow parents to pre-submit their I-600a form and receive an appointment for fingerprinting but will not issue the final approval (called the I-171 H or I-175) until the approved home study is completed. The time frame for receiving the US CIS approval to adopt can be anywhere from a month to six months, depending on your state and how backed up they are at any given time.

Once you receive your I-171H approval from US CIS you are ready to prepare your dossier. The dossier is a list of many important papers, including the approved home study report and the I-171H. You will get all these documents notarized, state authenticated and sent for national authentication and translation before sending on to Vietnam. The dossier is what the Vietnamese use to approve your adoption and refer you to a child. If you have located a waiting (special needs) child, you may receive that referral before sending in your dossier but, generally speaking, you will send in your dossier and then wait for a referral to be sent to you. Parents report spending 1 week to several months or more collecting vital records, financial information, medical reports, passports and more and then getting it all properly notarized, authenticated and prepared according to their adoption agency's requirements before it is finally ready to send on to Vietnam.

The Cost of Vietnam Adoption:

International adoption is notoriously fraught with hidden fees. Vietnam is no exception. Good adoption agencies will not hide anything and will spell out all the various costs you can expect to pay on your own and what their services will cover. This can vary from agency to agency so do your homework. In general the costs will be:

Home Study fee: several hundred to several thousand dollars
Adoption Agency application fee: a few hundred dollars
Adoption Agency contract fee: this may be included in the agency fees but is sometimes required upon signing on with an agency and can be $1000 or more.
I-600a application fee: $525 fee plus $70/adult for fingerprinting
Medical Physicals: from free to several hundred dollars. depending on insurance coverage
Vital Records costs: from free if you already have certified copies to several hundred dollars depending on how many records you need, the cost and urgency - in general you should have at least 2 originals of all vital records but order a few extras if you have to place an order anyway
Passports: $97/adult new, $67/adult renewal, children traveling with you will also need a passport, passport photos (10) can cost from nothing if you print them yourself to $10-100 to have them printed by a photo lab
Notarization: this can vary significantly from free to several hundred dollars - check your bank, credit union, accountant or home study agency for free notary services
Dossier State Authentication: this can very from free to several hundred dollars, every sate has their own fee structure for this service
Dossier Authentication and Translation: some agencies include this cost, others do not. If you will need to pay this cost separately, it will cost $50/document for authentication and $20/page for translation - many parents find it totals about $1000
Agency Fee or Dossier Fee: varies from $3000+ and is generally due half at the time your dossier is submitted and half at the time acceptance of referral. This is also called various things by various agencies but this is the portion of your money that goes to your agency.
Program Fee/International Fee: $7000 - $12,500 and is generally due at the time of travel although some agencies will require half at the time of referral acceptance. This is called different things by different agencies but this is the portion of your money that will end up in Vietnam. This amount will vary considerably by agency. It covers such things as medical screenings for your child, staffing, overhead, transportation costs associated with your adoption, humanitarian donations to the orphanage.
Travel fees (airfare, hotel, meals, etc): This is around $5000 for two adults. Airfare fluctuates by the time of year and you may wish to spend more or less on tourism, shopping, etc. This is an extremely rough estimate.
Return Costs of Child (airfare, visa, passport, medical exam, etc): $1000
Although the agency and program fees are quite low compared to some international country adoption programs, you can expect to pay around $20,000 when all is said and done.

The Referral:

Referalls, under the old program, often happened quite quickly within a matter of a few months but varied from agency to agency. Many expect this to remain the same under the new program but only time will tell. There are already some referrals of babies born in Dec '05 and Jan '06 so it seems to bode well for quick referral times in the future.
Once a referral is accepted, the time between referral and travel may only be 1-2 months but could be up to 6 months.

The Trip:

One of the big changes under the new adoption program is that Vietnam now only requires one trip for parents. The trip is a short one, about 2-3 weeks. Only one parent is required although both are encouraged. Some agencies have their own rules about one-parent travel so make sure to ask the question if you plan to travel alone.

The Adoption:

Adoptions in Vietnam are done within a day or two of arrival. They occur at what is called the Giving & Receiving Ceremony. Occasionally, the birthmother will also be present but it is usually one or several adopting parents and the Vietnamese authorities. You may be asked to say a few words about what this adoption means to you.
The rest of the trip will be spent applying for and waiting for your child's visa and passport. As soon as that arrives, you are free to go home.

http://adoption.families.com/blog/vietnam-adoption-an-overview

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers and fathers-to-be out there! I hope you all had a wonderful day. I was hoping I'd get lucky and get a referral today, but, nope. It was just wishful thinking anyway!

Enjoy your families and here's to some news this week!!

It's On Its WAAAY!!!

It's on it's way!!! Hooray! My dossier is off to the Vietnamese Consulate! Then on to the adoption agency! Then it's off to Vietnam!!!!! Here we come, here we come!!!!

It feels soooooooooo good to have all the paperwork done and out of my hands!!! Hip Hip Hooray!!!!!!!!!!! Now, to go celebrate with a Chinese dinner and my husband!

I thought I should add a few photos, even if it isn't of a referral yet. But, for those of you curious to see what we look like.....here you go!

This is me and my hubby Mike when we travelled to Montana two years ago.

This is me at a Seattle Mariners baseball game last year when I went to visit my niece.

I'll post more photos soon, but for now, it's bedtime!

Hooray!!!

Hooray, Hooray, Santa's on his way....or, at least the postman came! I got my state authenticated marriage certificate! Yep, the RIGHT one!! So, this weekend will be busy making copies, getting photos lined up and printed, putting it all together, (saying a prayer) and sending the dossier off to the Vietnamese Consulate on San Francisco on MONDAY!!! MONDAY!!! Monday it will be out of my hands!

After the Vietnamese Consulate puts their stamp on the documents, they will forward it to the adoption agency office in California. From there, it will be translated and off to Vietnam it will go!!! Hooray!!

It's getting closer, Baby, it's getting closer!! We're coming, we're coming!!