One Year Ago Today

One year ago today I was childless, waiting for the next day when I would meet Maelie for the first time.

One year ago today, I didn't worry about stepping on wooden blocks on the floor.

One year ago today, I didn't worry about naptimes, reading books outloud, or hugging a stuffed Grover over and over and over.

One year ago today, I could take a nap whenever I wanted.

One year ago today, I could go to a movie on the spur of the moment.

One year ago today, I didn't change diapers.

One year ago today, I didn't think about excema, diaper rash or teething.

One year ago today, I didn't know what the Sprout Channel was.

One year ago today, I could go out to a nice restaurant for dinner, without wondering if they were a 'kid-friendly' establishment.

One year ago today, I didn't have the words memorized to a bazillion children's books.

One year ago today, I sat down to read hardcover books, not board books.

One year ago today, I didn't worry about skinned knees, a scraped nose, or bug bites that swell up.

One year ago today, I could go to the salon whenever I wanted.

One year ago today, I got regular manicures, instead of worrying about cutting tiny little finger nails too short.

One year ago today, I could take bubble baths whenever I wanted, without a tub full of rubber duckies, Johnson and Johnson, and lavender-scented baby wash.

One year ago today, I never got sticky kisses.

One year ago today, I never knew the joy of a baby's laughter and joy at something as simple as playing peek-a-boo.

One year ago today, I never knew the triumph of getting my child to put food in her own mouth, of saying a word, of learning a new skill.

One year ago today, I didn't have a child who wanted to crawl into my lap with a book, and want me to read it over and over because she loves to hear my voice.

One year ago today, I didn't get to visit the zoo, the park, or the beach on sunny days.

One year ago today, I didn't hear the squeal of excitement when a favorite muppet came on television.

One year ago today, I didn't have a short, little dance partner who loves the way Mommy dances, even if it is goofy.

One year ago today, I didn't have a rapt audience for my singing.

One year ago today, I didn't have the sweet smell of a lavender child who is still warm from a bath.

One year ago today, I didn't realize that I would learn as much from my child as I was teaching her.

One year ago today, I didn't realize my life would feel complete and meaningful.

One year ago today, I didn't know how much love my heart could actually hold, how I would treasure every single moment with my child, how someone so small could change my life so completely, and how I would love and appreciate the changes.

One year ago today, I knew that this child was meant to be a part of our family, that we would love and cherish her, that she would become the most precious and treasured focus of our lives.

I was right.