Spam

What a funny word for your email junk mail, eh? SPAM. Anyway, we're told that when we check our email for anything from the USCIS, we should double-check our spam folders to make sure it didn't get stuck in there. I do this anyway, because I've come across good emails mixed in with the junk on numerous occasions. Of course, though, now whenever I see I have messages in my in-box OR my spam folder, I get excited. How sad is that to be excited about spam???

But, alas, no acknowledgement. However, I can enlarge my penis, by medications for my pets OR myself, I can lose 300 pounds in 30 days, augment my bosom (whoa, wouldn't THAT be fightening...), increase my sexual stamina, become a nurse online, get affordable health care through a company in Timbuktu, whiten my smile until I can land planes on the runway with it, get rid of wrinkles - ANYWHERE, learn Oprah's favorite books-movies-or canned fruit, decide which political candidate has REALLY had an affair, buy land in Costa Rica, buy a bridge in Brooklyn, earn a P.h.D in ANYTHING, have my taxes re-checked, learn the secrets to making $12,000 in a week stuffing envelopes at home, and refinance the mansion I'll buy with my earnings.

So, here's my thought for the night. If we can get this huge wealth of knowledge, just from our SPAM folders, why leave the house ever again?? I mean, really....with just clicking my way through a few bazillion spam messages and pop-ups, I can now have a huge schlong (I'm not REALLY sure how, but I keep getting told, "Michelle, enlarge your penis today), I can increase my D cups into Heaven only knows, earn a killing licking envelopes, and use my online health insurance to cover the cost of the subsequent papercut on my tongue. In the words of that Russian comedian whose name is escaping me, "What a country!"

Well, I'm off now to buy some land in Costa Rica and see if I can't get the Brooklyn Bridge I just bought to span across. I'll make sure to let you guys know how that turns out. Or if I get an acknowledgement. Whichever comes first.